This is going to be short, as it mostly pertains to YouTube. I was talking to a friend about some things, getting some unsolicited advice, and of course it was appreciated! But as I was sitting there listening, I just keep thinking to myself what to do, how to get better faster, and then I realized, that at this point in time, it's really all about these baby-steps. I know I mentioned it in my last post, for those of you who actually read it, but I just keep thinking about it, and I've decided that that is my new mantra.
I don't HAVE to be great and perfect right away at this YT business. It takes some people years to get good, and I've even figured some seemingly simply shit out since my last blog, which was only yesterday! That just means, it will get better and better, slowly, but I have confidence in myself, and all I know is that I just have to keep going, even if it's a small step at a time. And be PATIENT.
I mean, I've got a whole life that I am supposed to be living on top of this, and while it'd be nice to quit my day job and just throw myself into YouTube entirely, that can't happen right now. I have to learn to manage the time that I have, even if it means forgetting to nourish my body and sleep. Sometimes you have to go hardcore even when you're taking baby-steps!
I just needed to get that off my chest, because it's all I've been thinking and wondering and worrying about for the past few days....I am slapping a shitty video up right now because I just feel like it dammit! Hahaha. And if you missed the drunk gingerbread house making, then today is your lucky day because here it is again! LOL. And here is yesterday's blog in case you missed it and need reference :-D
Oh, I really don't like having so much time in between posts! Well, in any case, I made some delicious potatoes:
Cuz, who the hell doesn't like potatoes? You point out to me who doesn't like potatoes!
Okay, anyway. In other real news....I've picked up some hours at work, so I have been busy with that. I celebrated my birthday which was super fun and I love my friends. I've still been trying to keep up with my workouts and it's going OKAY. I get two three day weekends in a row and I totally need and deserve it. I FINALLY finished editing and uploading the latest YouTube project! HERE:
What a fun challenge, but I won't get into it too much right now since I want to keep this short!
I made a couple more lame videos:
And really am just looking forward to some lazy time and time to focus on some future projects for YouTube, practicing editing and other such things to make my videos more interesting and watchable. I plan to purchase some lighting next. The key word here is BABY-STEPS. I guess that's a hyphenated word, but it's one word.
I just have found that it's something I'm really passionate about and if all I have time is to do it in my "spare" time for now, then so be it. I will progress at my own pace. But I can't stop, won't stop! Persistence is key :-D
I am looking to take a class or two again next semester as well, so that will be a time sucker, but I want to do it all. I like being busy.
Oh, and last but not least, I'm REALLY not too keen on the weather in Texas right now. WTF IT'S HOT. Christmas Day is supposed to be like 80F. Not very Christmasy. Ugh, what do I care, I don't even celebrate Christmas. I celebrate winter, but it's kind of difficult to do when you live here.
I saw some news article on Facebook that there is supposed to be some kind of crazy post Christmas winter storm though, and I'm really hoping they aren't messing with me. In any case, I found some beautiful frost on an early morning birthday walk to the gym the other day! So beautiful! See?!
But for now, that is all. I have some research to tend to. Thanks for stopping by! :)
Recently one of the most exciting things in my life has been researching and checking YouTube analytics. It's been going at a snails pace but every little change is quite exciting for someone just starting out. I honestly don't expect much from my silly little channel. I don't really have a target audience, I just make videos for the sake of making videos, but it's quickly become my new favorite hobby and even with as little effort as I'm putting into it as I am, it's still quite time consuming! I don't even fully know how to edit yet and I still find myself up later than I usually am, researching and spending time on YouTube in general. I've even had a couple of nights already where I forgot I was hungry, and have been having to force myself to eat before I tuck into my bed with my laptop for the night. This morning I also had to force myself to make my lunch for work too and not stay busy doing other things and maybe rely on picking up lunch later. I was so engrossed the other day I forgot to drink water and kept wondering why I was so thirsty all day. Even this morning, with all of the seven cents of excitement, I kept repeating to myself, "OMG, I have so much to do..." On top of all of my day to day menial tasks.
Well, that was a fucking mouthful!
And trust me, I have plenty more to say.
I was kind of joking with my boyfriend too when I was talking about how exciting it was when I said, "I feel reborn!" Truth joke.
I also just kind of like feeling busy again. With this crappy blog, YOUTUBE, work, my ONE class which is almost over (thank goodness), social media in general, and now I'm even considering getting a Twitter account. On top of that, all my other life shit I have to deal with, like Obamacare, actually going to the doctor, dealing with my epilepsy BS, cats, cat puke, avoiding Christmas, going to school if I can afford it, vacation planning for next September. OH LORD. Why do we do this to ourselves, huh?
Ha, well, nice thing, my bb gave me my birthday presents early this year. This beautiful ring I found at Renaissance Faire, which wasn't in my size there, but he went online later and bought the correct size as a surprise:
As well, he got me a Magic Bullet! Like the kind on the infomercial, lol. I don't have a picture of the MB itself, but I do have a picture of this hummus I made with it, which he said looked "liquidy." Of which, I of course maturely replied with, "YOU look liquidy."
I think I just added too much olive oil, honestly. After I ate the entire bowl I didn't feel so great either. I tend to over-do it with the hummus though....
Onward, the rest of this month will of course be jam packed. I have a Christmas party this Saturday, was invited to another but will have to decline because I can't be overwhelming myself. Then I planned a birthday shindig, but will have people come to ME at my apartment. Makes it a little less stressful for me.
HOLD THAT THOUGHT. I literally had to stop myself just now and make myself go get some water.
I don't really "observe" actual Christmas, so I don't worry myself with that, and don't feel pressure to buy gifts, thank gawd.
As for the short term, vegan eating and weight training have been going well, even though it's only been a couple of weeks for the weight training, I already can feel a difference. I have noticed with my body, I can gain muscle quite easily, especially when I'm eating right. This pleases me.
AAAANNDD tonight, my good friend and I are filming a fun video for my channel, and I was originally going to tell you lovely people what it is, but I think I'll leave it a surprise.
In the mean time, please watch my most recent two videos if you have not! :-D
Well, that's all for now folks! Again, it's way too long, so congratulations for making it this far ;)
Wow, December 5th, this month is basically over, lol. I started X-Mas cards last night, got about 9 finished, probably about 12 to go? Just depends on which of my friends send me their address if they want one! :)
I can't seem to shake this sick stuff though. Still coughing, just not as much, and often can't breathe through my nose which makes eating kind of a pain in the ass. Any tips or remedies?
Sick Selfie.
I started my weight training. Went hard and ended up really sore, but it's healing so I can start up again. I am quite excited. Also, veganism is going swimmingly. I think I have one can of chicken and stars left, but I don't even want it or need it. I was craving fruit like a mad woman last night though. Maybe I need more Vitamin C?!
VEGAN NOMNOMS.
Oh, and if you did not already know, I DO have a better quality camera to use for my channel!
The sound quality is not the best though. Going to try it for a while though, and then move on to bigger and better things. My subscribers are growing slowly, but growing none the less :) Now I just need a tripod and some lighting, maybe a microphone, haha.
I have a good feeling about this YouTube business though....I am kind of learning and growing at a snails pace, but it's actually quite a bit of work, even if you're not putting THAT much work into it like I'm not. I am just going about it when I have time mostly. Not even editing yet. I can't imagine the amount of man hours it takes just to produce a top quality YT video. Well, actually I can. One of my favorite YouTubers, Bite Size Vegan, logs exactly how much time it takes to make some of her videos, it's insane, especially if it's a heavily researched one. 100+ hours on some. I'm starting to have a new appreciation for certain aspects of movie making and entertainment in general. And I'm barely producing anything!
Anyway, it's all good stuff and I'm gonna keep going for as long as I can and just keep getting better and better. It's just fun to do, I look forward to making videos.
That's all you get for now. I have a busy weekend and need to focus on feeling better!
Can't believe it's already December, huh? Actually, I can. How was everyone's year? Do you do that resolution bullshit? Haha. I think I might do that this year, on behalf of my desire to fully transition to vegan.
Going vegan is not easy, I don't care what anyone else tells you. It's not an overnight thing, for some people it takes years. Most of your friends and family are likely still eating standard American/Western diets. Most of your friends and family probably don't understand or want to understand what you're doing and you feel pressured to eat a certain way and not be who you really want to be. Some people will be supportive, some people won't give a shit and say 'do whatever you want,' but there are also people who will try to sway you from it because they think it's dumb or not healthy, or it's radical or whatever. Most of the time I'm not the type of person to give a crap about what others think, but when the people closest to you are being dicks, it's hard not to care what they think.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I resolve to make 2016 a vegan year. I might fail, there is always that possibility. But maybe what would be more realistic is to make it an 80 percent vegan year.
I was actually really quite surprised at Thanksgiving when we were at the dinner table eating that my family was pretty open to the idea of doing a Tofurkey/vegan meal! Even boyfriend was like, "I'm not opposed to that!" I don't think he knows how pleased that made me.
I've also been wanting to get back into weight-lifting and I've been using one of my favorite vegan YouTubers for inspiration. She's this cute lil' Scottish girl here:
Sometimes I have a hard time understanding her accent, but it's all good. So no only is she vegan, but she lifts.
Speaking of YouTube, I monetized my account and am planning on making more videos, new camera or not. Hoping that I can keep the ideas coming so that I don't just have to do boring VLOGS all the time:
But yeah, on that note, I have been sick! It's some wicked cold or something. Congested, crazy coughing, all the coughing gives me a headache. Constant sneezing and leakage, running out of tissues! My boss sent me home early yesterday cuz I was so pathetic, so I went home, filmed this little diddy, and crawled into bed while hopped up on Dayquil and tea. I woke up twice in the night and took two extras chugs of Nyquil....I think that helped, LOL. Going back in to work today, I will probably still take it easy since I've still got a cough and drippy nose, grossssss. TMI.
Just need to pick up some tissues.....
If you missed it too, here is my half assed Renaissance Faire costume:
It was cold and rainy, so I wore my moose hat with my pirate shirt and vest, black sweatpants work rather well as pirate pants, just fyi, as long as you wear them with your pirate boots. Then of course a jacket over all of it, haha. I don't think that walking around the cold and rain of Renn Faire helped my cold either though.....also, surprise this morning, I got a COLD sore. Yeah, no surprise there really. I have fast acting meds to make those fuckers heal quick though.
Okay, so sorry for the long blog. Congratulations if you made it this far.
I need to start my Christmas cards soon as well. So much to do with life, and then there's Christmas cards....oy vey.
That Halloween is really over! I know, I know, I said I was going to post this yesterday, but life happens and distractions happen, what of it?
But indeed, Halloween is really over, and it took a couple of weeks for me to really realize it. I still saw at least three houses decorate for Halloween on my walks to work up until today! Of course I love it, but at the same time, everywhere else I see Christmas stuff. I don't HATE Christmas, I just don't observe it. I still decorate and can enjoy Christmas stuff here and there, but I don't observe it. I still love sending out Christmas cards, I just don't OBSERVE it. Is this making any kind of sense? I don't want gifts, because I don't get other people gifts, maybe a handful of people, but like, BARELY. The whole gift giving thing just makes absolutely no sense to me. And it makes people broke and depressed by the end of it anyway. Oh yeah, and of course there is that minor detail of my day of birth being six days before XMAS, so that kind of ruins things too. There ARE people out there who have Christmas birthdays and who love the holiday, I'm just indifferent.
But anyway, we'll talk about Christmas some other time, because well, it IS still happening. If I were to have a tree, I would get a white one or a black one, and decorate it Halloweenish, duh.
Ya know, I was going to come on here and talk about what's been going on in my head and what not lately, but I think I'll just leave it at this. Basically, I've been pretty busy lately, looking forward to Thanksgiving though, and have been putting too much on my plate ALREADY. Some of the things on my mind lately include, but are not limited to: being responsible for Thanksgiving dinner again, work and my lack of motivation, the millennial curse and the fate of my generation, the fact that I stopped my regular birth control and haven't had a period in four years and am just waiting around for the shit storm to come back with a vengeance, worried that I won't find success in social media and won't find my niche in the YouTube world, renaissance faire, my friends' dating lives and how interesting yet terrifying it all sounds, wtf am I doing with my life, being wishy-washy in every aspect of my life and wondering if real grown people ever feel the same way. Among so many other things.
Okay, well, sorry no pictures today, but if you're interested in books and/or supporting my channel, please watch my video/s. Thank you, I appreciate any views and support.
Officially a week since Halloween. We've had some nice cloudy, a little bit rainy and cooler weather lately. I dig it, and wish it could be like this most of the time.
Thanksgiving is on the horizon and I still don't really have any plans. Usually I cook and have people over, but I'm just not feeling it right now. I wish someone would cook for me for once. Boyfriend and I haven't really come up with any solid plans yet either. Maybe I'll just stay home and make myself a vegan Thanksgiving because no one else is interested in that except me.
Speaking of vegan, I finally made another vegan video for my channel, a taste test video!! I would like to do more later on, especially once I get the hang of it. So if you are interested, here it is :)
I realize that most of my audience, the very small audience that I have, are not interested in vegan related issues, but I want to reach all kinds of people with all kinds of interests. I'll figure out my niche with time.
My next video will probably definitely be either my Pagan books, or the one I need to make for the YouTube contest :-O
I think I've got about 95% of the Halloween stuff put away, and am working on fall stuff. Just put up a little here and there. Been cleaning and watching YouTube all day. I have homework of course as well! Honestly, I feel like sometimes I just can't keep up with all the little crap, AND have time to relax or be social and be normal. I wish there were more hours in the day!
Ugh, especially with this time change crap! Is this messing anyone else up?! I literally get off work at 7, and just want to come home and get in bed because it's already so flipping dark! I don't want to do anything, it's irritating. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon....hopefully.
We went back to the arcade this week and I redeemed my tokens prize, but by no means did not use all of them! I dunno who could use fifty dollars worth of tokens in one go. I still had so many leftover from the last visit! It's gonna take about three more visits, ha.
I played Elvira, some gambling games, skeeball, and one of our favorite team shooting games.
But yeah, it's rounding out to about 2PM so I better get back to being productive. Thanks for reading! Please check out my YouTube and Instagram for more interesting things.
How was everyone's Halloween?! Great I hope. I did a few things to celebrate this weekend!
Dorothy and I went to the arcade Friday night and I dressed up as Chucky!
It was so much fun, but not so much fun trying to get the temporary tattoos off that night, the next morning and afternoon! It was a process, let me tell you, but worth winning $50 in tokens, keehee.
I woke up to a super scary Halloween storm at 2:30AM too! However, I still had to get up around 6AM to get ready for my exam.....only to find out the campus was CLOSED due to the extreme weather! How ridiculous is that?!?! It wasn't even that bad, just spooky.
Ugh, anyway, my professor is letting me take it tomorrow.
Halloween day I dressed up as a witch.
I feel like I look a little like my mom in this picture. I think my mom had magic powers and that she passed them on to me, hehehe.
I ended up not wearing the costume while handing out candy, however. But had a lot of ToT's and almost ran out of candy!!
Had to refill the bucket a couple times, and my beer once, haha.
I only decorated the yard quickly that afternoon, but it was just enough to let the kids know I had candy!
Well, I hope you enjoyed the picture heavy blog. I feel like people just simply don't have time or the care to read lots of writing. Like, who gives a shit about my adventures, really?!
Thanks for stopping by though, for reals. I appreciate all the love I get on social media <3
Ermahgerd, 1 day y'all. Are you ready? I guess I kind of am, ha.
It is raining cats and dogs this morning, and I'm doing a load of laundry, kinda silly! Hey, you do what you gotta do. I have to wash all of my Halloween socks and shirts! One of which I am wearing this evening with my last minute Chucky costume! Lol. I recently bought a pair of overalls, and realized I have a shirt that will work, then hopped over to Wal-Mart for some last minute essential accessories and voila! I'm sort of the master of last minute costuming.
I realize my hair is quite a bit longer than the real Chucky, but really, it's the accessories that make the costume. I'm excited. Once I get off, going to trek through the rain home somehow and get started on my costume and head to the arcade with friends for the Halloween party and games!! Woooo!
The only thing standing in my way is HOMEWORK. Yuck. Yeah, I totally forgot I have a test due by Sunday....I'm a master procrastinator and work well under pressure though. Go me.
Oh, and Walking Dead trivia on Wednesday was A BLAST! I took the reigns since none of my friends had ever been to a Geeks Who Drink Trivia quiz before! Let alone a themed one! I go on a semi-regular basis as my BFF is a quiz master for them, and she just so happened to host this months TWD themed quiz and I was soooooooo excited for her. My teammates decided on Carol's Casseroles for our team name, LOL. The other choices were Merle's Right Hand Man or Terminus Treats. If you've ever seen the show, then you will get it....if not, then go watch them!
It was a super fun time, and we ended up tying for fourth with another team, which is pretty damn good. Pretty proud of us.
Photo courtesy: Alyssa B. (aka BFF)
Photo courtesy: Alyssa B.
Our team pic, and then one of Alyssa and me afterward. I helped her with her makeup! Everyone had great fucking costumes. CORAL!!!!
Ahh, anyway, so that was a great night, but in health news, I was feeling better Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, but ran out of time to do any vlogging. Managed to push out a crappy one yesterday morning. But early yesterday morning I woke up to Ichabod being sick AGAIN. As I got up to clean up his mess, I ended up getting a splitting headache in the back of my head! I ended up taking some pain meds which is usually something I try to avoid, and finally fell back asleep about an hour later. Didn't have much trouble with pain the rest of the day, but the anxiety came back, so yeah, I'm feeling better, but not? Ha. Whatever, I feel okay right now, and that's all that matters. I did send this picture to boyfriend yesterday though, which somewhat sums up how I've been feeling the past few weeks:
As for Ichabod, I think it's just stress and anxiety! He's always had a fairly bare belly, like almost completely fur-less, but recently I realized that he has been pulling it out, and leaving more chunks of hair around and there has been more hair in his vomit....so, my next order of action is to get him some calming treats and see if that helps. Because otherwise, he is completely normal; he eats, plays, wrestles with his brother, cuddles and what not. And yes, I know cats are extremely good at hiding illness, but I've had cats long enough to know that if he's wrestling, he's fucking fine other than what my boyfriend calls "a mentally ill cat."
Okay, I've blathered enough...TORNADO/FLASH FLOOD WARNING sent to my phone!!! We're gonna diiiiiieee!!!! jkjkjkjk
Here's my latest VLOG if you care, but it pretty much just sums up what I talked about now.
That's right, I came here to talk about my health again. I'd like to focus on Halloween, but that just ain't happening as my anxiety/stress/depression/hypochondria dictate and consume my life.
For a second there, I thought I was feeling better, but yesterday I had a sudden rush of heart palpitations as I was just sitting at my laptop watching a YouTube video, and with that came a rush of light headedness and feeling like I was about to pass out right in my office at work. I feel like I need a fucking babysitter....
I KNOW I should go to the doctor, but honestly, they aren't going to tell me anything I don't already know. The best they can do is take my blood and see if I have low iron, which I have started taking supplements for, just in case. As well, I am on vitamin D and B12. I like to treat things naturally and without going to a doctor who really doesn't know what the hell they're talking about. I don't like or trust doctors...I'm just like a man....lol. Bad joke?
Anyway, the forecast for Halloween here is looking rainy :( I may not even be able to decorate!
I was supposed to decorate boyfriend's house this past weekend, but it was raining all weekend. And it's supposed to come back this weekend as well. Hopefully it will only be in the morning and leave by the time the kids go out for candy!
Tomorrow some friends and I are going to the Geeks Who Drink Walking Dead Trivia and it should be a fun time. Fun lil' Halloween themed activity! I even get to leave work early :-D
I would like to get around to more videos, and have posted a couple of my cat, but it's been hard to get motivated. I also have a YouTube contest I need to make a video for by November 15th! That's right, a contest! You'll see later....
Anyway, here is the video of my cat playing with a stick. That's all for now. Just needed to get some health talk off my chest again. My stomach issues seem to have subsided for the most part, now it has manifested into general anxiety and chronic headaches...oh, the joys of being a hypochondriac....
It's officially 10 days until Halloween. What's everyone going to be doing?! Leave a comment below if you feel so inclined.
As I mentioned before, I am giving out candy to the trick-or-treaters this year! Want to keep it low key and I just really enjoy seeing kids having fun with the holiday. I'm just hoping that at boyfriend's new house, there are plenty of kids. His house is BRAND NEW and it's still a developing neighborhood, but it's right next to another neighborhood, so hoping those kiddos migrate over to us. I will be decorating, so hopefully that gives kids the impression that THIS HOUSE HAS CANDY!!!
Assuming you read my last entry a couple days ago, you know the party was a success. I forgot to mention the shmorgishborg of leftover beer at my house and I'm not sure who left these, but I tried one and it was quite satisfactory:
So whichever friend left that, and if you're reading this, thanks! Lol. It wasn't verrry pumpkiny, but it was a darker beer and had a smooth taste. I had bought a bunch of beer to share with guests as well, but was so busy with the liquor and jello shots, I forgot about the beer! I feel like I didn't quite get people drunk enough this year, haha. But the general consensus on the jello shots was that they were the best I've made in all the years I've been doing this, ha.
I know if you're reading this then you probably don't need to watch my newest Vlog update, but here it is anyway!
I also just appreciate the views and support. I really am trying to quit my day job. And while I still find my niche, especially once the Halloween season is over, I will be posting a slew of different content and videos for all audiences to enjoy. So again, thank you for supporting me!
Here is one last picture that I like of me in my costume!!
Ooooh, hellooooo! I've had more than one person tell me this before, and I sort of feel like it myself, but often it feels like Halloween is over after I have my party! LOL. But it's not! Still more Halloweening to do!
But yes, the party was a success this past Saturday. There were fewer people this year, so it was slightly more intimate, but it's okay, I have a slightly small apartment and we all had a good time. I especially enjoyed how into the movie trivia people got, hehe. I have so much leftover stuff, I should have another Halloween party this weekend! Ha, but I won't, I have to go to boyfriend's house this weekend and decorate the front of it! See, still so much Halloween to do!
But anyway, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:
My boyfriend and me.
The movie trivia board.
IV bags and x-rays in the hallway.
Jello shots.
And for those who don't know me personally, I am the one in the bloody hospital gown.
After trivia I asked my friends to vote on next years theme, and it has been decided that Vintage Halloween it is!!! This will actually be easy and fun. Lots of paper mache and streamers and such. Also, it means I get to do a lot of research on Halloween related things, which of course is my favorite. But it will be themed between like 1900 and 1960. That's what I consider vintage. But yes, I have of course already started getting ideas and juices are flowing.
As for me personally, I have been thinking about making a doctors appointment with regards to my on again, off again anxiety and now recent stomach issues and general loss of appetite and unintended weight loss. Just trying to take care of myself.
Will definitely make a couple of Vlogs this week now that I am not so preoccupied anymore. Although I have an online class that started today, so I will be a little busy with that now as well. Just need to keep busy, that's what always makes me happy.
Thanks for reading, kittens! And thank you to everyone who made it to the party, now I can't wait until next year!
Yesterday after I posted a very short, crappy little video on YouTube, I realized I felt better ever so slightly. Maybe I've found my new favorite hobby! Next to Halloweening of course.
I just felt happier and more motivated, even though it didn't get that many views, it just makes me want to make more. So I'm gonna do that, and keep doing that. It also helps when I gain followers and realize that people out there kind of want to see what I have to contribute and share with the world. Ha.
I was productive with top secret Halloween trivia preparations last night, as I watched about four episodes of Walking Dead season 3. Tonight I MUST do the movie trivia poster, which may take a while, but it's all coming along. So I now have three nights and one half day to prepare for the party, should be enough. That includes getting the rest of the supplies, cleaning the apartment (which I've been putting off), making jello shots, finish decorating, etc.!
Anyway, if you missed the last two blogs, here is my supplemental video with everything in a nutshell! Gotta go! Thanks :)
I figured my funk would be gone by now, but it has not ceased. I was going to vlog this weekend, but alas, did not get that far in life. Ended up taking Ichabod to the emergency vet, and they basically said he's fine and gave me all these instructions on feeding him, giving him an antibiotic, and a probiotic, some special food, and Pepcid for the puking issue. He's been good since I brought him back, so hopefully it sticks. Oh, and thank goodness for my dad for helping me and being there. I have one of the greatest dad's in the world, and he even hugged me as I cried and emotionally pondered about life and shit. It was nice to get it out.
Party is this weekend and I'm going to be completely honest, I'm not as excited as I should be. Just thinking about my depressed state makes me want to start fucking crying. I'm not a generally depressed person, but I know it's nothing to joke about, or to take lightly, especially when you can sense that you're messed up. And especially when some of the things in your life that bring you the most joy, are not bringing you joy, and it's inexplicable. You just don't know why.
I went out with my roomie and friend last night, and it was really nice after being cooped up in the apartment all day. I did some chores, took care of the kitties, did some minimal decorating, and watched Walking Dead all day. I've been re-watching for Geeks Who Drink Walking Dead themed trivia at the end of the month. Needless to say, I was in such a funk last night, I didn't make the effort to go to the gym and watch the season six premier (I don't have cable at home, so that's how I get my fix). So we just went to the karaoke bar around the corner. Less effort. I'll catch the new episodes eventually, not really worried about it. I don't even care about spoilers.
I truly am sorry for the depressing blogs though, but I think it's something that should be addressed and it helps me get it off my chest. You can say, oh, what do you have to be sad about, you're white privileged? What I have to say to those types of people is, it's none of your damn business I guess, and get the fuck off my blog. Millions of people suffer from depression and mental illness all across the globe, and most people don't talk about it so candidly, so I think it's fine that I do. You are not alone.
As for me, I'm just hoping it is a phase, as I've never been clinically depressed and it doesn't run in my family. Life becomes overwhelming in your head, and sometimes you just need to be a little sad so that when you are happy and good, you can appreciate it more. Are you picking up what I'm laying down? Good.
In any case, I managed to paint myself some zombie toes in the midst of this weekend, so that is your Halloween goodness from me!!
I will be vlogging this week, and likely talk about it more, so I'll leave it at this for now. Oh, but also, probably will have a mini Halloween haul, and the one with my Wicca/Pagan books.
Last night I just texted my boyfriend and said, "I just feel so uninspired." It was in reference to Halloween, and my party and all the month's festivities. And this crap always happens. I always get in a weird fucking slump, and feel random anxiety, heart palpitations, apathy, confusion, stress and all that unnecessary crap. And it doesn't help that Ichabod has been mysteriously sick off and on the past few weeks.
All I want to do is break down and cry and watch YouTube and get over this weird anxiety and for my cat to feel 100% better. Maybe I need a drink.
I think maybe I'm having the dreaded third life crisis. I'm almost 29, so I figure I'll be through a third of my life by then, hoping to make it to at least 90. But yeah, it's just utter bullshit. Inexplicable, utter bullshit.
I know I have a lot of friends who suffer from anxiety, and unfortunately, for me, I feel as though mine has gotten worse over the years. It's time to make life fucking decisions and get my shit together, because I definitely don't have my shit together. I only play like I do on TV.
Sorry for the Debbie Downer intro, I just needed to get some of that off my chest, for the love of God. And actually, I feel slightly better. So...THANKS! Thanks for obliging me.
In other news, we DID go to The House of Torment, and it was a BLASSSSSSST. Seriously one of my most favorite times yet. Here's our silly amazing photo:
I have about 9 day until the party now, and I feel like I'm just going to procrastinate until the Friday/Saturday before. I've done a few small handfuls of stuff, but nothing blog worthy.
But in other OTHER news, I did post a NON-Halloween YouTube video if anyone is interested in #veganlyfe, I made a video of some vegan foods that I recently purchased. Trying to appeal to as many audiences as I can at this point:
My next video will likely be a random Vlog of me just talking, or a Wiccan/Pagan book haul! In any case, thanks for stopping by! I really 'ppreciate it :)
Tonight my friends and I are going to be hitting up the local haunted house which you may have heard of, The House of Torment. They are pretty famous nationwide, have been on all sorts of Travel Channel and Discovery Channel specials, etc. And yes, it is quite a grand time! I personally go every year, and try to wrangle up as many virgins as I can, but I find most people are too pussy to try it, EVEN if I buy them a ticket. This time I'm going with a friend who has been and a friend who has not and I'm pretty excited either way.
I even made a video with some tips before you plan to head out that way to get scared! ^_^
And here's a quick trailer from their own YouTube channel!
In other news, I was sick yesterday and meant to do all of this then, but was in bed watching Bridezillas all day instead, and boyfriend brought me soup, crackers, ginger ale and popsicles. My favorite sick food combo. Of course I have decorated more, been going kinda slow, but spooked myself with my own decorations as I was coming in the door from work on Friday, LOL.
This guy.....
Otherwise, just taking it easy until we go tonight. Not buying as much stuff for Halloween this year either though, taking it easy on that as well. But I have a video coming up of the last of my Halloween purchases. Hopefully upload tomorrow.
I'm here at my home, sitting outside on my balcony enjoying the evening with my kitties. It's still hot outside, but I'm so tired of complaining about Texas weather, and I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about it too.
My time of year has officially begun. My time to shine. Dress to impress. Maybe I will wear my cheesy Halloween sweater to work tomorrow. I don't exactly wear dress code all the time anyway...and I work in a gym. I should really just go all out tomorrow. People would still say, 'Isn't it a little early for Halloween stuff?" To which I reply with my death stare which implies for said person to go fuck themselves.
Anyway, in case you missed it, here's what I've been up to......
Still have not had a chance to get to Best Buy to check out some cameras, but I will. I've managed to figure out how to make my icons prettier though.
I'm not sure how much more Halloween shopping I will be doing this year as I already have enough stuff for the entire neighborhood, but I will still be posting Halloween goodies from here on out!
Like you would assume, any good Hallowfile may have an affinity towards horror, gore, macabre, whatever you feel like calling it, I of course am no exception to this unwritten rule.
I have spent an unhealthy amount of time cruising Netflix watching the most downright worst horror flicks, to of course the better and higher rated, lesser known horror films they have to offer.
Sometimes it takes me an even unhealthier amount of time simply picking which crappy (or non-crappy) horror based movie I want to "waste" my time watching. Carefully judging and often misjudging a film by its cover. Most recently I chose a movie called Greystone Park. What a waste of time that one was! The main reason for choosing it was that it followed (Blair Witch style) three youngish people around an abandoned insane asylum, as this is relevant to my party theme this year. In a nutshell, horrible acting, non-believable interactions between the "characters" and too much "real cam" moving around. Like OMG, learn to hold a camera somewhat steady! It took far too long for anything to get "scary." Most of it was just them bickering and threatening to leave and give so and so the car keys, and yadda yadda, unlikable characters that I felt no empathy for at all. The ONLY cool thing about it was in once or two instances, annoying guy #1 is taking some flash photography, and if you pay clossssse attention, with each flash you will catch a millisecond glimpse of a frightening image. F'reals, it actually scared me because I caught it AS I was falling asleep, and I was like, "Wait a tick...did I just see....let's rewind and scare myself again in this pitch dark bedroom, whilst home alone. Good plan!" Really though, I don't get scared that easily, but I do get a little creeped out.
I gave the movie 1 star, for that one cool thing. The rest was lame, and predictable.
I will come back and talk about some of my favorites and other not-so-favorites. But for now, here are the last two YouTube videos I have posted. One is fresh from this evening!
This is from over a week ago, some Halloween crafts and ideas.....
And tonight's was a little Halloween Haul......
That's all for now kittens! Thanks for stopping by. Sorry for the haphazard blog post, I'm just trying to get this stuff outta my head!
Future blogs/vlogs will include more movies, Halloween/Pagan books, etc.!! Stay tuned :)
So, the weather got crappy again. I know I whine and moan about it often, but it is something that actually affects my mood and quality of life. I quite honestly think I have summer seasonal affective disorder. It's more common in cloudy, rainy and cooler climates, and I don't need a doctor to tell me whether I have it or not....it's a real thing and I can feel it in my bones.
For those who do not know, I don't drive, and luckily live close enough to my job that I can walk there every day, but when it's 90+ humidity outside, I don't want to do much of anything. Of course we truck through it and get on with our lives and get over it, but enough is enough.
I've lived in Texas almost my entire life and at the end of every summer I just think to myself, "Well, made it through another one...." Ironically, I lived in Winnipeg, MB for an accumulated 2 years of my life, and it was the exact opposite and I LOVED it. Survived two winters in that city. I miss it often!
With that said, it honestly puts me in a not so Halloweeny mood, however I still know the end is near in regards to this shit weather. And although it depresses me I have still been getting some shopping in and will put that in my next YouTube video, so look out for that!
Here is a sneak peek:
Also this weekend, boyfriend and I went to my friend's birthday pool party and we brought some seasonal accouterments:
He was not a fan of the Pumpkick, but I thought it tasted fine. He said it was "definitely pumpkiny" but I didn't think it was overbearing. And the Shiner Oktoberfest, didn't deviate too much from a regular Shiner. All in all, it did the job and we had fun. I still think it's weird that I went to a pool party in September.
Is this amazing weather! That's all that matters. Finally the humidity is clearing away and going back to hell where it belongs. It's still been getting up to the low 90s but this morning it was like 60, holy moly. And it doesn't suck so much because there's even a little breeze.
In any case, time to not be ridiculed for wearing Halloween socks all year round!
Oh, and guess who finally got their shit together?
Yeah, that's right, Wal-Mart, talking about you. You'd think they'd give me some kind of endorsement deal by now, seeing as I talk about them all the time in my blog and vlog. FREE ADVERTISING! Even though it's mostly griping, but hey, any press is good press. I'd let them slap an ad on my blog.
In other Halloween news, I tried another pumpkin ale. This one I did not like as much....
It had that overly sweet taste that I feared from the last one. The sweet taste I wanted to avoid. Not REALLY sweet, but it tasted like an alcoholic Pumpkin Spice Latte, just not sweet like a cider. I won't be buying this one again, but I would like to try a pumpkin cider next.
Speaking of PSL, I tried one the other day (soy, no whip) since I heard they changed the recipe this year and added like 0.36% more pumpkin, but it still had that underlying chemical/fruity taste that I've always hated. Sorry, not sorry.
Also, if you have not, check out my video! This is not my most recent one, but I've been meaning to embed it, so I will embed the newest one in my next post. Or you can just watch it through my channel!!
Praise Jeebus, today was cloudy and not too hot. NOT TOO SHABBY. It's deliciously thunderous and spooky right now, but I'm having some weird feelings of apathy this evening. Not sure why, but I hope it goes away soon.
Like, good timing funky mood. The weather is almost perfectly how you asked for it, and now you feel all weird and depressy. It's probably just my epilepsy medicine, but still, I hate being in strange moods. I try to keep an upbeat, positive yet snarky attitude day in and day out.
In any case, I really came here to brag about the first Halloween card I received yesterday! From my dear friend Cassie who now resides in Portland, Oregon! I have known her since I was in 10th grade, so well over 10 years.
Ain't it cute? It actually matches my other vintage Halloween items!
In other Halloween news, I tried a seasonal beverage last night!
It was quite hearty and rich. Blue Moon regular is one of my favorite beers, so naturally I decided to try this. You can only slightly taste the pumpkin, but I'm glad because I was weirdly worried it would be sweet? I know, strange expectations, but it was quite good, I recommend it. Not like pumpkin pie at all, thank goodness. It also put me RIGHT to sleep, hahaha.
It's time to start thinking about Halloween cards myself! I like to hand pick them for all of my special Halloween loving friends! If only they would put them on the damn shelf!
Until next time, my fellow Hallowfiles
;-)
OH! P.S. I meant to embed this mornings YouTube vlog:
Normally, 93 wouldn't be too terrible....but check out that "REALFEEL." One-hundred and three?!?! For the love of all that is holy, this heat really needs to fuck off. It's funking up my holiday vibe, f'reals.
It kind of ruined my day yesterday as it deterred me from wanting to do anything past about 2 o'clock. According to my friends via Facebook, I was completely justified in my weather disbelief.
You know what is actually completely ridiculous though? I saw a news story today that schools in Connecticut are letting out early due to a "heatwave." I can see how this type of weather can be really irritating and soul crushing....but letting school out early? That is extreme. Those crazy New Englanders.
In other news, I MADE a new video, but opted out of posting it to YouTube, so sorry, not sorry. I very much need to invest in a proper camera to bring better quality content for my growing audience...."growing."
Don't forget to like and share my stuff as there is more to come! I just wanted to quickly complain about the shitty weather conditions ;-)
Seriously, it is September 6th...6TH....and they still have a bajillion binders and crappy school supplies taking up the seasonal aisles. Shouldn't your children have everything they need by now?! If not, you're a shitty parent...besides, school supplies are a year round luxury, okay? What in the actual fuck?!
I remember they took forever last year, but not THIS long. They'll probably have Christmas crap out before Halloween stuff at the rate they're going. Okay...granted, I did see Halloween shirts, and some fall decor, BUT THAT IS NOT THE SAME.
End Rant.
We went to The Spirit yesterday though!!! I would love to have this demon possessed girl for my vaulted ceilings, but she just isn't in the budget this year, unfortunately.
I made a few small purchases, so if you wanna see that, and you haven't already watched my video, you can check it out here.....
MY SWEET POTATOES ARE READY!
Best food in the world....and very fall-ish.
Okay, well you know the drill....I'll be back with more Halloween reports next time!
Well, yesterday was productive. Aside from going to work and bringing home the bacon, I finally sent out my Halloween party invite, and started decorating the apartment. Well, kind of decorating. More like, I just got off my lazy ass and pulled out my trunks of Halloween shyte and figured out what is being used this year and what is not. Here's what really happened....
As some of you may or may not know, this years theme is hospital/asylum and I'm going with a lime green theme....sort of mad scientisty, or more mad doctor, crazy psych ward color scheme (with lots of blood). I will post ideas later with pictures of the mantle.
As I was outside, safely out of wasp way, this giant mud dauber mother effer flew into my life and let me just say, while harmless, those things are WAY more demonic than wasps. Christ, have you ever seen one of those things?! You'll just have to Google it.
Also, as I was spraying my fake blood all over my perfectly bleach white sheets, I met my neighbors from across the hall. They were really kind and one of the guys just asked if I was an artist. I said no, although technically I am....I just choose different mediums.
In any case, I now have two more people who want to attend my Halloween party! Huzzah!
On that note, Halloween is in full swing. Hoping to make a trip to The Spirit Halloween Store soon as well. The locations this year suck balls, but boyfriend agreed we could take the trip :) I love how he puts up with my crazies.
