Halloween Has Begun.

I think my brain is getting a little bit of a jump start with regards to Halloween planning.  Considering we had the dumbest "winter" ever here in Texas.  What a fucking bust.  If you know me or have read any of my previous entries, you know how much I prefer cold, cloudy weather.  The only thing I hate about winter really, is the fact that it gets dark so early.  It's starting to stay bright until about 6:20pm now, but I can't wait until it gets back to being light until about 9pm.  But what a shit winter for those of us who need the dismal Tim Burtonesque type weather.  I feel fucking cheated!

Not to mention I'm actually really sick and tired of people saying how fucking BEEEAUUTIFUL it is outside.  Here's an idea, not everyone SHARES your love of the sun and 80F January days.  Go eat a dick and take your "BEAUTIFUL" sunny weather with you.  OKAY, that was uncalled for, but I'm so tired of people talking about how mother fucking beautiful it is.  Come up with another adjective, you dorks!  End Rant.

So with this stupid abbreviated weather, I feel like my conscience is starting a little early, because my brain THINKS it's April.  For those of you who don't know, or don't remember, the theme of the party this year is Vintage Halloween.  It's actually probably going to be pretty easy.  Just lots of crepe paper and streamers.  I'm also planning on having a photo booth of sorts for people to play with props and take pictures with my camera and what not.  Juices are flowing!

As far as my channel, things are going swimmingly.  I could use more views and subscribers, but I guess I just need to be patient.  The only issue is the lack of time I have to make the videos "nice."  Like I literally came home from work last night, did some cleaning, microwaved dinner (because of time restraints), watched a horror flick still in my work clothes, which are also kind of like pajamas, finished the movie and filmed a haphazard review....not to mention I was kinda high on my epilepsy meds, so needless to say, the movie review will be kinda shitty, lol.  But whatever, they'll get better with time, ha.

In case you missed my last two horror themed videos, you're in luck!  I have them right here!

These are actually two of my favorites already, and I think I'm making the right decision with going the horror route.  I am beyond excited.

Other than that...in the bad news department, I'm suffering from unfounded, inexplicable anxiety attacks again.  I am trying to cope with them mostly with just talking to myself.  I've cut out the caffeine (still drinking decaf because I like the taste of coffee), but I think I should cut out the beer too :(  Booooooo.  I really just need to get a physical and see if I can talk to a psychiatrist.  I just don't understand their origin.  I can't find a trigger.  It's scary because it's causing breathing and swallowing issues/fears.  Talking to other people about their experiences helps, and I even called a crisis hotline the other night just to TALK to someone.

Seriously, if you are ever needing to just talk to someone, you don't have to be on the verge of suicide, you are allowed to call those hotlines ANYTIME you feel you are alone or need to talk to someone outside of your scope of friends and family.

Okay okay, that's enough for today.  I just wanted to announce that the ball is rolling, amidst all the other life shit I have to do!  Thanks for stopping by, kittens.  Tell your friends and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel!  It really helps me out a lot.  Much love!! <3